"Unintended Consequences of the Biofuel Industry" and other gripes that come from watching the news

So today I turn on my television and see the heading, "Unintended Consequences of the Biofuel Industry." Now what is going through my mind is some sort of dangerous pollution caused by running cars on ethanol, or maybe some hippie on a soapbox talking about how many animals are slaughtered by machinery used to harvest corn and grain.

But what is the unintended consequence? Higher prices for food crops caused by using those crops for fuel production.

Three words: HO - LY - SHIT!

For those of you who aren't mouthing your words as you read this, when the Damand for a product increases, and the Supply doesn't change, then Price goes up. Take using corn, soybeans, and occasionally wheat for fuel: when you slate a significant portion of these crops for fuel production instead of food, naturally, (since there is now less for food) the price will increase. Gee, do you imagine that this is why so many of this nation's farmers were for using the crops for fuel to begin with? (Not firing a shot acros farmers' bows, just pointing out why any farmer would be for this)

Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not charging everyone with an intimate knowledge of economics. I just think that there are some things that everyone, including legislators, heads of administrative agencies, career farmers, and Fox News correspondents, should know know as a matter of common sense. The fundamental principle of economics is one of those things.

Now I know that some people reading this will think, "But wait, not everyone is intelligent or successful enough in life to understand that." However, I really doubt that those individuals are the ones writing whiny news stories based on a "no shit" assessment of crop prices, but then again, I may be wrong.

This is almost as thoughtful as the standard "Most citizens of (pick today's Arab nation, usually Iraq or Afghanistan) dislike United States foreign policy." Really? Personally, I would love having my country bombed, seeing tanks rolling down my city's streets, and requiring an allied-supervised police force to secure my safety from suicidal nut-jobs with strap-on bombs. I'm not saying that this country didn't need to put a little beating-down on its enemies in the area, but should anyone be suprised that the civilians in those countries aren't really all that appreciative?

Maybe this entire post is cliche', but I still felt the need to get on my soapbox about journalism. I really am not asking for too much, just think about what you are going to report before you report it. For example, if the first thing that you think when you read the story is "no shit," then you should at least reconsider reporting the story.

Another request to mainstream media: is it possible to stop trying to undermine the legal profession by reporting on ridiculous cases and framing disputes in a sensationalist nature?(eg announcing that an umpire sues because he gets hit in his protective helmet by a baseball, which had previously bounced off a batter's helmet) Being a student of the law, I am really tired of, every time I turn on the news, hearing a ridiculously one-sided, underinformed, and ill-advised summary of a lawsuit. It isn't really that hard to report on a case objectively, I do it every time a law professor asks me to summarize a court opinion.

All these people have to do is wait until the court issues its informed opinion (provided ridiculous case reported on even makes it to trial), and then summarize the case. Damn, that sounds really hard. . . Although this won't necessarily result in the same sort of ratings as reporting sensationalist versions of the same case, it might actually convince me that I am watching the news and not hearing about it from my 80 year old grandmother. In the immortal words of WJC, "Give me the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts so help you God."

From the Archives: Nazis at my College. . .

So the Nazis came to town. . .

The other day, a group of Nazis (National Socialist Party to be exact) came to my university to protest the apparant Leftward slant of the University. My first thought at the time was, "Holy shit, a state university with a large number of liberal professors and administrators, say it ain't so!" The amazing part is how clever of a message these people obviously thought they were disseminating. It would probably require someone with intelligence levels falling somewhere between simian and pig shit to figure this one out.

Aside from the "no shit" factor to this demonstration, there is also the "Nazi" issue. I mean, how exactly does one go about becoming a Nazi? Do you just walk down the street one day and think, "man, my life really sucks. I think it is a bunch of African Americans/Jews/pickaminoritys' fault."? Thats almost as cool as chewing on lead. . .

I always try to picture that first sit-down meal with the family where the kid first admits to the parents he has become a Nazi:

Dumbass Kid: Mom, Dad, Grandpa. . . I have to tell all of you something. . .

Mom: What's the matter sweety, is the pot roast too tough?

Dumbass Kid: No Mom, I have decided to join the National Socialist Party. . .

Dad: Dammit you little pile of disappointing shit. I knew you would join those pinko-commie bastards the moment I sent you to that Leftward leaning university!

Dumbass Kid: No dad, it's a fascist organization. I'm uh, I'm a Nazi.

Dad: Holy Shit! I can't believe this. I told your mother to get an abortion when she came in with that damn test!

Mom: Dammit son! Why can't you just be gay like the Johnson kid up the street?

Grandpa (climbing over table): You little bastard! I killed you sons-of-bitches in WW2 and I'll do it again!

Dumbass Kid: I hate all of you! You never understood me! I'm leaving here and going to a large university to protest the Leftward slant in front of the NAACP and a bunch of militant hippies! *runs away crying and carving "Afrikaaner Underground" style swastika into arm with a pocket knife*

By the way, the NAACP and some militant hippie group showed up to protest the Nazis. This was a clever way of sending the message, however unnecessary, that the Nazi message is wrong (as if WW2, the Holocost, and Kosovo didn't serve as a clear-enough message). I guess I should at least give props to the Hippies and NAACP for giving the obvious "Nazis are bad" message that some people may not know. For example, some peoples' moms drank during pregnancy.

Another interesting thing about the Nazis is that they were all from Minnesota. Are people from Minnesota crazy? I mean, aside from voluntarily living somewhere where they can't go outside for 10 months out of the year and electing Jesse "the body" Ventura for governor, what could possibly go wrong? Either way, I had to see this.

My plan for the day:
1. Sleep until at least 11:00. Nothing, not even a Nazi rally right next to campus, warrants my being awake before 11:00 on a Saturday.

2. Proceed to liquor store up the street, purchase 12 pack of beer.

3. grab lawn chair and take beer to set up camp to watch free entertainment, which today comes in the form of a trippy WW2 reenactment.

4. Get as drunk as possible on short notice at a public demonstration, and spend the rest of the day mercilessly ridiculing Nazis by pointing out that unless they are blond, 6' tall, blue-eyed, white guys then they are "unpure" and not fit for delivering the message, while simultaneously hitting on hippie girls.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to accomplish anything after purchasing the beer because the Nazi rally was over by the time I got there (around noon). However, I did get to hear later about the Nazis getting into a street brawl with the militant Hippies. What I like to imgine is a 245 lb biker being ruthlessly beaten down by 5 or 6 man-orexic guys with signs reading "end the hatred," but hey, maybe it was chicks. I wish I would have seen that, although at least I still have militant hippies to make fun of.